Remembering Aydan

I think about him everyday. Out of nowhere it will cross my mind; Hey. I should have a two-and-a-half year old running around here. I should be taking him to the park, pushing him on the swings, and sliding down the slide with him. Every time I go into a store I think; I should be buying him that cute outfit, book, or toy. I wonder what he'd be saying now. Mama? Daddy? Full sentences? Could we be carrying on our own special mommy/son conversation right now? Wonder what it would be like to hear him say, "I love you, Mommy!" What would he look like? Blue eyes like his daddy, or green eyes like me?
These are just a few of the things I think about every day. A part of me is missing. It really is.

This is a poem I wrote for Aydan about a year ago:

I want to see your radiant smile
It always made me smile too.
I remember how it would light up your face,
And your blue eyes would sparkle.

I would look at you, and you would look at me,
And it seemed we understood each other.
I love you with the deepest love a person could feel.
I have from your beginning, and I always will.

I know your time with us was brief,
But you were here for a reason.
You opened up my eyes and showed me
Love's true meaning.

I wish I could still hold you close,
And squeeze your hands, and kiss your toes.
I wish I could still sing to you,
Smile down at you,
And watch you smile back.

But wait, I do still sing to you.
Even though you're an angel now,
I know you can still hear me.
But now when I sing,
You are smiling down at me.

~Lory Mabe